


Unrequited

by CheekyBrunette



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-08
Updated: 2013-07-08
Packaged: 2017-12-18 01:48:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/874307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheekyBrunette/pseuds/CheekyBrunette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Liam just really, really loves Niall, but he’s dating Zayn, and that… well, that’s just really hard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unrequited

"Ah… punctual, enthusiastic, and… energetic," Harry prattled off, describing Louis and earning himself a giggle and a punch in the arm from the shorter boy. Liam did his best to look as entertained as they were, but it was somewhat hard when he was sitting next to Niall and Zayn's arm was around the blonde's shoulder.

"Haha, brilliant," the interviewer gushed, and Liam smiled politely at her, ignoring her forced laugh and her insincere compliment. "Okay. Now how about we do Niall next? Pick three words to describe him, as well," she demanded, and turned to Zayn on the far end of the couch. "Let's let the boyfriend go first, eh?" she asked, and Niall leaned further into Zayn and further away from Liam.

"Breath-taking, mine, and everywhere," Zayn answered immediately and kissed Niall's cheek. The Irish lad's neck turned a brilliant shade of red and, adorably enough, the blush spread to his ears, making Liam's heart rate pick up the slightest bit. Meanwhile, the interviewer's eyes skipped over Niall and landed on Liam.

"And you? Three words to describe Niall?"

Liam pursed his lips together. "Hungry, unusual, and noisy," he voiced, though Liam had far better adjectives he could have used. Things like "perfect" and "gorgeous" and "deserving". But Liam was not Niall's boyfriend, so he couldn't say any of those things. Just like he couldn't kiss Niall's cheek, and he couldn't hold Niall like he wanted to, and he couldn't crawl into Niall's bed at night. The interviewer laughed.

"I have heard that Niall is quite the eater!" she exclaimed, though Liam could tell she wasn't as quite as impressed with him as she tried to make herself sound. She quickly looked to Louis on Liam's other side. "And you?"

Liam doesn't listen to Louis's response or even Harry's after that. He's too concerned with the way Zayn is nibbling on Niall's earlobe, causing him to squirm and bump into Liam repeatedly. Liam could make Niall squirm. Liam could do lots of things Zayn could and even more that he couldn't.

He just had never got the chance.

* * *

Niall walks into the front half of the tour bus, rubbing sleep from his eyes, and Liam stops listening to the story Louis is telling him, his eyes following the curve of Niall's back as he bends down to grab the milk from the mini-fridge in order to pour himself a bowl of cereal. Louis trails off when he realizes he's not paying attention, and Liam snatches the chance to talk to Niall.

"Good morning, Niall," he greets, and Louis mutters what must have been a hello of his own, but Liam doesn't pay him any mind, too focused on Niall in nothing but his briefs and a t-shirt.

"Morning, lads," he replies around a spoonful of some American, chocolate cereal brand. Liam smiles when the other boy slips into the booth across from him, pushing Harry's head a little further down the table so he has room for his bowl. Their curly-haired band member had roused himself enough to get out of bed, but still managed to fall back asleep before he could finish the banana he had chosen for breakfast.

"You've got a pretty nasty bedhead there, Ni," he warns with a grin, and it's true. Niall's hair has somehow managed to go in fourteen different directions. It's all Liam can do not to giggle when Niall quick looks up with wide eyes to check his reflection in the window of the tour bus, letting out an unnecessarily loud groan before dropping his spoon and quickly raising both hands to try to sort out the problem.

Liam wants to die just watching his long, guitar-player fingers card through his blonde locks. He would kill to touch Niall's hair like that, and he would kill to have Niall touch _his_ hair like that. "Relax, babes, you look fine," a groggy voice calls from the back of the bus, and Liam wants to die for entirely different reasons.

Zayn emerges from the bedroom and immediately walks over to Niall, wrapping him up in a good morning hug and stilling his hands with a kiss to the forehead. Niall smiles.

"Yeah, no need to go fixing yourself," Liam chimes in because he's left out of everything when it comes to Zayn and Niall, and he's not going to let this conversation be completely passed into their hands as well, especially when Liam sees a clear way to make Niall smile presented in front of him like this.

"Thanks Z, thanks Li," Niall replies, picking up his bowl and drinking down the rest of his cereal like a man. God, Liam was obsessed. His heart swelled just due to having been included.

"No problem, Niall," he replied, trying not too stare too adoringly. Of course, with Niall Horan, that was easier said than done.

* * *

It's not that Liam didn't approve of Zayn and Niall as a couple. No, he actually completely supported them together, and that's what made the whole thing so unbearably awful.

Zayn was one of those mushy, sweet, loving, perfect boyfriend types. He was exceptionally good at telling Niall everything he needed to hear, not leaving much room for Liam to be the one to fill in all the blanks. In fact, now that Zayn and Niall were together, ninety-seven percent of the words that fell from Zayn's lips were compliments, and it drove Liam crazy to see Niall's smile so brilliantly all the time and know he wasn't the cause of it.

Not only that, but Zayn was extremely protective over the little leprechaun. He helped to fix his collar, snagged fuzzies off the shorter boy's shirt, wrapped him up in his own jacket if Niall had forgotten one… Once again, there was no room for Liam. He couldn't take care of Niall at all when Zayn had it all handled.

Shit, and Zayn was just as cuddly as Niall was… They were always all over each other, just snuggling. And it sucked. Cause it's not even like Zayn could possibly be doing all this just to get Niall into bed, he just… he obviously loved Niall with all his heart, much like Liam himself, the only difference being Niall loved him back.

They were the most renowned homosexual relationship in the world. People from every country looked to Ziall as an example and praised them for being so brave to out themselves to the public. Truth be told, Zayn and Niall didn't want to have to take their hands off each other for even a second, so keeping the secret wouldn't have worked. They were perfect. Liam could be perfect. He _could_.

* * *

It's a complete and total surprise when Niall shows up unaccompanied at his hotel room. "Hey, you wanna go swimming? Brought you sunblock and everything..." Niall prompts, already wearing a swimsuit and handing Liam a tub of sunscreen. He etched his eyebrows together.

"It's the middle of the night," he said with a frown, beyond confused. Niall didn't look put off exactly, but he did let out a moan and face palm.

"Shit, I'm sticky for no reason…" he swore to himself, and Liam simultaneously tried not to laugh or get turned on. Niall looked up at him, blue eyes shining and hopeful, and it was near every way Liam had ever wanted Niall to look at him. "Well, okay, so maybe no sunscreen, but we should still go swimming." When Liam didn't immediately respond, Niall dropped to his knees and clasped his hands together. "Please, Liam? Zayn won't go, and I wanna _swim._ Don't make me go alone!" he begged, and of course Liam had to go now. It was his life mission to fill in for Zayn whenever he failed Niall.

"Okay, okay, hold on, just let me get my trunks," he said, Niall's lilt influencing his speech a bit. Sometimes Liam felt like the only accent he ever heard was Irish. It was all he listened to. He let Niall into his room, digging into his suitcase for a swimsuit and heading off to the bathroom to change while Niall sang "You've Got A Friend In Me" as loud as he could. Fuck, why did he have to be so perfect?

It's not long before Niall's jumping in the pool and Liam is right behind him. And Liam knows this isn't a good choice because he loves Niall far too much, and it's dark, and they're both shirtless, and the lights from the pool on the roof of the hotel are lighting up Niall's face in a way that is so alluring, he sort of wants to die. Plus, pool sex might be on Liam's bucket list, and there's no way this is going to end with him happy and satisfied, but oh well, he's here now, and he's going to make the best of it.

Liam surfaces after leaping in, and instead of a breath of air he's met with a splash in the face from Niall's direction. In fact, he's met with several, but soon Niall is laughing too hard to continue and Liam's choking too much to let this go on much longer. "You're… the… worst…" he pants out, before giving Niall a splash of his own, and soon they've moved from splashing each other, to wrestling in the shallow end of the pool.

Liam's not really thinking about what he's doing, it's just kind of happening. And for all intents and purposes, he's ignoring the high-pitched squeals Niall makes when he catches him off guard. He's ignoring the yelps and curses and giggles. He can't pay attention to them, he simply can't.

His head is three miles away, and he nearly doesn't notice when Niall stops.

"Oh, sorry, Zayn said you might be up here, but I didn't know Niall would be, too… I… I was looking for you," Louis says from the doorway, and Liam shakes his head, trying to focus on Louis's words, rather than Niall's breathlessness.

"Come on in, Lou!" Niall chirps, excited to have another playmate, obviously, and Liam's heart sinks because this means so much more to him than it does to Niall, and he doesn't want Louis to come in and steal any of Niall's attention. Liam was _so tired_ of people stealing Niall's attention. Louis rocks back and forth on his heels, and Liam gets his head out of his ass enough to notice that this nervous behavior is not at all in Louis's character, and something must be wrong.

"Is everything all right, boobear?" he asks, pulling out the pet name just in case this was an emergency. Louis frowned.

"Yeah, no, it's fine… I'll just go get my trunks… Ah, Ni, Zayn's lonely, he'll be up in a minute," he says before spinning on his heel and going back to the elevator. The second he's gone, Niall turns to Liam and waggles his eyebrows at him.

"So, Louis, eh?" he asks, and Liam furrows his brow.

"What do you mean 'Louis, eh'?" he asks, and Niall beams at him.

"Oh, nothing, nothing," he says, but he's smiling to wide for it to be nothing. "Nothing at all, really." Liam splashes him again, making Niall sputter.

"It doesn't seem like nothing."

"Oh, but it is."

"I don't believe you."

"You should start."

And Liam's not quite sure how it happened, but all of a sudden, he's tackling Niall in the pool again, and Niall's attacking him right back, and they're laughing and drowning, and Liam forgets that Zayn and Louis are coming upstairs to join them. It's finally just him and Niall and that feels so right, even if wrestling half naked in a closed pool at two in the morning should really feel so wrong.

"So I see you two are at it again," Louis says when he comes back in, looking much more relaxed than before, and Niall breaks away from Liam to get out of the pool and soak Zayn in a giant hug as the other boy walks in. (Liam's heart isn't particularly breaking, so much as it is compressing so, so tight that it hurts.) Louis flips into the pool, a necessary distraction from Ziall sucking face only a few feet away. "Oi, Zayn, Ni, get in here. Let's play chicken," he calls, and the teams are unfortunately Lilo versus Ziall with Zayn and Liam supporting Niall and Louis on their shoulders.

He tries not to be discouraged. He really does.

* * *

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… HAPPY NEW YEAR!" all five members of One Direction count down up in Harry's hotel room. They've been confined to their suites for the evening, not allowed to get busted for underage drinking again while in America.

"Love you, Zaynie," Niall said, delivering a quick peck to his boyfriend's lips. He was situated comfortably in Zayn's lap, much to Liam's displeasure, while he, Louis, and Harry bounced around.

"I love you _so much,_ " Zayn replied. "I can't wait to spend a full year with you," he said, going in for a longer kiss, and Liam has big plans to just stand there and watch all malcontented-like, but then all of a sudden, Louis grabs his face between his hands and gives him a real proper snog right on the lips.

He's reeling.

And by the time Liam manages to get himself together, Louis has moved away and is giving Harry a right kiss of his own and smacking cheek kisses on both Zayn and Niall as the two break apart. Niall scrubs at his chin, and Zayn laughs, and Harry's already moved on and is drinking champagne straight from the bottle because this whole 'no drinking while in the United States' thing is really driving him mad, and Liam's once again outside looking in.

"Happy new year!" Louis shouts again, like he hasn't shouted it enough, and Liam smiles weakly before snagging the bottle from Harry and pouring flutes for everyone like the helpful lad he is. He'd wanted a New Year's kiss, but not from Louis…

* * *

Liam's getting sloppy, and he knows it. He just… he can't stop _staring_ at Niall. Not when he's so beautiful, and so kind, and so Zayn's and not his. He just wants so badly, and it all hurts a little bit.

"Okay, so what did you boys get for Christmas?" the interviewer asked, his face bright and cheery, but in the end, this was just a job for him and Liam doubted he really cared. He struggled not to let his shoulders slump and read off as a happy, open book, while Niall actually brightened on the other end of the couch.

"Oh! I got _lots of stuff_! I got a Panini maker, and all these freezable smoothie mix things, and a buncha movies and games, and…" Niall continued to ramble off all his gifts, eyes gleaming with what could only be described with a child-like excitement, and Liam couldn't believed he hadn't caught him staring yet.

He's honed in on Niall's mouth, completely enthralled with the way words fell from his lips, when he feels eyes set on him. And he thinks that maybe it's Louis –because normally it's Louis when he feels someone looking at him- but it's not.

Liam's unnerved to find Zayn looking at him across Harry and Louis's laps, his jaw set tight and his arm protectively around Niall's shoulders.

Shit.

He's been caught. And now Liam doesn't quite know what to do. Should look confused? Should he look away? Should he own up to it? Liam decides to just look blankly at Zayn, waiting until the other boy turns away to run his hand shakily through his hair. Okay. _Okay._

This wasn't so bad. Not really. It was okay. It was going to be okay. It's not like Zayn's gonna figure him out just cause he caught him staring once. It was fine, Liam would be fine.

* * *

"Shit, Liam, how do you do this all the time?" Niall asked, fiddling with the screen of his laptop in an attempt to adjust the camera and figure out how to manage a twitcam properly. "I can't even figure out how to make it fucking go," he complained, and Liam laughed.

"Niall, you're already live," he said, coming over to ruffle his hair and ended up climbing into Niall's thin cot with him to watch him attempt to make a video for their fans.

"Shit, what?" Niall asked. "Wait, shit, shit, shit, I just swore, fuck," he complained and Liam reached out and stroked Niall's face in order to shut him up.

"Shhh. You're still swearing," he whispered, just to be silly, and Niall ran a hand through his hair, undoubtedly causing millions of girl's hearts to explode much like Liam's own. Their bodies were pressed together from their shoulders to their toes, and Liam was mostly more on top of Niall than he was next to him. He could stay in bed with Niall like this forever. "It's gonna be okay."

"I'm sorry," Niall told the camera, and Liam watched as "it's okay" and "no problem" and "we forgive you" notes loaded onto the page. "It's best to have Liam when doing these things because he's sometimes not dumb and can be helpful." Liam playfully punched Niall in the arm.

"Are you saying I'm stupid?" he asked, and Niall snorted, smirking at him.

"No, I'm saying that most of the time, you're not smart," Niall replied, looking very haughty and proud indeed, and Liam pouted before snuggling into Niall a little bit more.

"But I am smaaaart. Call me smaaaaart! Tell them!" he whined, and Niall complied before launching into a conversation about his day that mainly consisted reflections on how his hair looked and how his new trainers felt. Liam sat back and listened, a flush creeping up the back of his neck as Zayn came in the back room and leaned on the edge of Niall's bunk, watching them intently. Liam tried to play it cool and not look like he was doing something he shouldn't.

Eventually, Niall finished, and Liam helped him click the video off, and Zayn walked further into the room, having held back as to not interrupt Niall's flow. Liam picked himself up off the bed and left the room, trying to ignore the way Niall latched onto Zayn the second he took his spot.

* * *

"Liam, can I talk to you for a second?" Zayn asks one day when they're on the tour bus, and Liam knows what this is about. He's been waiting for Zayn to finally call him out for a long while. There are only so many times a person can catch you staring at and snuggling with their boyfriend before finally saying something.

"Can it wait?" he questions back because while Liam's aware that this was eminent, it doesn't mean he's anxious to get it over with. Zayn frowns.

"Actually, I think it's best if we talk about this now," he says, and Liam spares a glance to Louis who's sitting right up against him at the table. Louis normally would save him when thrown a look like that, but this time the other boy just slips out of the booth, and goes to sit on Harry's lap instead. Liam bites his lip. "Please?" Zayn begs when Liam doesn't make a move, and he can't help but relent. Because as jealous as Liam is, Zayn is still his friend, and he's not a bad guy, and he really does love Niall right, and it's impossible to hate him.

"All right," he says, and lets Zayn lead him into the back of the bus. He feels Niall's eyes on the pair of them, and he wonders if the blonde's as oblivious as he lets on. Zayn sits him down on the bunk.

"You like Niall," he says softly, and it's not a question. It's not a question in the least, and Liam's face and eyes heat up. Zayn claps his hands together and sits on the cot across from him. Liam thinks he might only be one word away from crying. The other boy rolls his lips together, thinking for a second before continuing. "I mean, I can't say I blame you. I love him, too… He's got beautiful eyes, and the most adorable cheeks, and these great warm hands…" Zayn lists out, and Liam sniffs.

"And a really cute chin," he croaks, voice breaking in at least three places, embarrassingly enough, and he scrubs at one of his eyes with the base of his palm, blinking fast to ward off tears. Zayn's face breaks into a smile.

"Yeah, his chin _is_ cute. I can't stop touching it," he says, and Liam smiles weakly at him. Zayn ruffles his hair. "Don't be freaked, man, it's okay," he assures him, answering the question he didn't ask. _Do you hate me?_

"I'm really sorry," Liam says, and for a second, he thinks that he's gonna make it out of here without crying, but then reality smashes down on him like a tidal wave, and Liam brings both hands over his mouth, tears slipping past all his defenses. "Shit, I'm so sorry, I just… I just…" He doesn't know what he "justs", but Zayn doesn't seem to be looking for an answer.

"Relax," Zayn says, hopping up from his mattress to sit next to Liam and wrap his arm around his shoulders. "I really do get it. It's not even like you're the first of us to fall for someone who's not interested," Zayn says, and there's no malice behind it. The statement stumps him though because he doesn't know whom Zayn could be referring to. Zayn and Niall have each other and Liam's hopelessly in love, and Harry and Louis are off crushing on whomever happily.

Zayn holds him for a little bit, and Liam gags on his tears. Eventually he calms down and Zayn pulls back to look him in the eyes.

"You do know that Niall is mine, though, right? Like… I really love him, Li, and I mean… I'll gladly tone it all down when we're in front of you if that'll help. I'll even like… if you let me talk to him about this, then we can take a break until you move on, but I'm not going to give him to you, okay? Like… he's my NeeNee," he said, a look of fear flashing in his eyes, and Liam just shook his head.

"No, be with him, it's okay, I just… I'm so sorry. Is it just you who knows?" he asked, and Zayn shook his head, a feint, relieved smile pulling on his lips.

"No, no, I think the only person who doesn't know is Niall, mate. You make it pretty obvious," he says. "I think its killing Louis…" Sometimes Zayn talks, and Liam just doesn't follow. Niall can always follow what Zayn's saying. They're made for each other. Liam knows it; it's just… it's hard is all. It's hard to want something so much and know you're never going to have it.

"I really am sorry," Liam apologized again, and Zayn waved it off.

"I don't think you chose to be in love with my boyfriend. I didn't either. He's just… he's incredible like that," Zayn replied, and Liam nodded dumbly, trying not to look too overemotional. He'd already cried for, like, fifteen straight minutes due to how hard he was pining for Niall on Zayn Malik's shoulder for Pete's sake, and he had no desire for a repeat. "Just… just know I know, okay? And maybe… maybe it's time to try to find someone else," Zayn says, and Liam would love to, it's just that no one is… no one is quite like Niall, is all.

"Okay," he says meekly, and Zayn nods, kissing his forehead and leaving him back in the bus's bedroom to go and join the other boys and probably cuddle with Niall some more.

Liam feels like he's dying.

* * *

They're sitting together again. Niall's snuggled up in Zayn's lap, and even though his shoulders have broadened and he's gained a couple inches since they all met, he still fits the same in Zayn's arms. He's completely buried in the other boy, and no matter how badly and how desperately Liam wants to look away, he can't help but watch Niall as he digs himself a little further into his boyfriend.

"Liam," Louis says uncertainly from his side. He's holding a deck of cards, and he's standing a little differently than usual, but Liam can't be bothered to care right now.

"What, Lou?" he replies, barely giving the other boy a second glance. He sounds bored with Louis already, and that's not particularly fair, but whatever. Ziall is being all cutesy, and Liam has a right to be as bitchy as he wants.

"Um… do… do you wanna maybe play Crazy Eights with me? It's been awhile since we've like… had any Lilo time," he says with a hopeful smile, and Liam should really be paying more attention to him because Louis is very clearly not acting like himself –or at least the person he was when he was with Harry, or Niall, or Zayn, or anyone but him for that matter. It's just that his brain is a bit preoccupied.

He's about to turn him down, but Niall seems to break out of the little romantic bubble he and Zayn normally have around themselves to take note of the situation, and he gives Liam a look. It'd be impossible to ignore the way that Niall is waggling his eyebrows at him, so he sighs. "Yeah, you wanna go to your hotel room?" Liam asks because there's no way he's going to be able to focus with Niall and Zayn in the room. Louis nods his head enthusiastically and practically drags him into the hall.

"Thanks for playing with me, L-"

"God, did you see them in there?" Liam interrupts, unable to contain his feelings any longer. He's never had a real solid rant about the inter-band couple, but he thinks he deserves one. Louis looks at him with wide eyes. "It's like… could you please keep your hands to yourself for five seconds? And Zayn like… he knows how much I like Niall, but it's like he doesn't even care, and _seriously,_ do they have to paw each other like that _all the time?"_ Liam ranted, and Louis is looking at him wide-eyed.

They've stopped in the hallway, and Liam feels a little bad for unloading all this on Louis because even though he knows the other boy knows about his crush, they haven't talked about it, and it's also a little mean of him to be going off about Ziall when Zayn offered to take a break from Niall for him, and that was really, obscenely generous. "I mean, I haven't-"

"It's seriously so ridiculous. I don't need to watch them dry hump each other twenty-four hours seven days a week. It's disgusting, and I'm sick of it. Like… you'd think they'd be a little more sensitive," Liam exclaims, too busy ranting to spare a glace at his friend.

"Liam?" Louis calls, and it's only then that Liam notices his red nose and matching eyes. "I don't want to play cards anymore," he says, and Liam reaches out to put a hand on his shoulder, or lace their fingers together, or _something_ , but the second he tries, Louis jars backwards like Liam's about to hit him and runs down the hallways, nearly throwing himself into his room.

Liam doesn't know what he did or what's wrong, so he goes down the hall, knocking on Louis's door and calling his name through the wall. He's still knocking when Harry walks up, pushing him out of the way.

"Lou, it's Harry," he says loudly with a few knocks of his own, and Liam can hear shuffling on the other side of the door.

"Is Liam out there with you still?" Louis replies, and Harry sends a scowl in his direction.

"Yeah, he's still out here, but I can just slip in, okay? I'm gonna take care of you." And then there's the sound of a lock being undone, and Harry disappears into Louis's bedroom like Liam's been trying to do for what feels like twenty minutes, and he's not sure what to do with himself, so he walks back to his own dorm and tries to sleep, but he's too guilty, and he doesn't even know why.

* * *

Liam's woken up by horrible banging on his door in the middle of the night. He rolls out of bed and opens the door, squinting as the bright lights from the hall meet his eyes and barely making out a furious looking Harry Styles.

"You're such a hypocrite!" Harry yelped, forcing his way into his room, mainly because Liam was too lazy to stop him and Harry didn't ever really get angry over anything, so this must be important.

"How so?" he asked with a yawn, and Harry slapped the exhaustion right out of him. Literally. He hit his right cheek so hard, Liam's whole head snapped to the left, and he instantly reached a hand up to hold the part of his face that burned. " _Ow!_ Why would you do that?"

"How _dare_ you go off on how insensitive Zayn is when he's with Niall to Louis. _Louis_. You're a fucking _arse._ Why would you do that to him?" Harry asks, and it's _weird_ to be yelled at by Harry because he's so mad, but his words still come out as slow and controlled as usual, and it takes someone who really knows him to understand how angry he really is.

"You're _crazy_. Why does it matter if I went off to _Louis?"_ Liam questioned, catching Harry's emphasis, and the other boy glared at him.

"You're such a-" he cuts off and his eyes widen. "Oh. _Oh._ Never mind," he says, all the anger draining from his face, and with that Harry leaves his room, resulting in a stinging cheek as the only thing convincing Liam that anything had just happened.

* * *

"What if I told you that I know someone with a crush on you?" Niall asked one day when they're sitting alone together. Liam's admittedly a little worried about Zayn coming in and finding them and getting angry, but he's selfish, and he really likes Niall. His question makes him do a double take.

"Um… what?" he replies, confused, and Niall just nods.

"Yeah… What would you do if I told you that I know someone with a crush on you?" he asks, and Liam doesn't know what to say, so Niall fills the silence by continuing. "He's really great, Li, so don't worry about that. And he really, really likes you, and he's trying really, really hard to get you to notice him, but you don't, and I can't figure out why."

 _Probably because I'm too in love with you_ , Liam thinks, but he doesn't voice it. "I guess I'm just oblivious," Liam chooses to say instead, and Niall's head bobs up and down in response.

"So am I. Took me forever to realize Zayn was interested…" he trailed off and looked to be thinking very deeply for a moment. "What if I told you that the guy I know is also someone you know very well? Like… you know him about as well as we know each other," he hinted, and Liam furrowed his brow.

"What, like he's in the band? Is it Harry?" he questioned, and Niall let out an audible groan.

"You are so _dumb._ Seriously. No, it's not Harry, it's _Louis,_ " Niall replies, and all of a sudden, all this weight comes crashing down on Liam's shoulders. _Shit._ So that's why Harry had yelled at him the other night, and that… that explained a lot of things actually.

"Louis?" he squeaked, and Niall looked at him anxiously.

"Yeah, Louis. I think… He's kinda in love with you, mate, I can't believe you haven't noticed," he said, and Liam ran his fingers through his hair. He needed to process this, but Niall kept talking. "Anyway, he asked if I would ask you out for dinner for him. Harry and Zayn offered, but he thought I should do it, so… so I don't know. I think you should go, man. You have to at least give him a try, and if it's not... you know, you'll be sure to have a good time, you are best friends after all."

Liam let out a puff of air. "Louis… Louis likes me…"

"Yeah, Louis likes you. So will you go?" Niall asked, a hopeful ring in his voice, and Liam bit his lip.

"I guess…"

Niall brightened. "Good! He'll be at your dorm at six o'clock. Informal dress, I think you're going for, like, macaroni and cheese or something," Niall informed him and then smiled. "If you two get together, you can go on double dates with me and Zayn."

"Woo," Liam cheered, even though his shoulders were deflating. Shit. Louis Tomlinson… Maybe that was just who he needed…

* * *

Liam felt weird that Louis was the one coming to pick him up. Like… like, technically the other boy asked him out, but he asked him through Niall, so Liam kinda thought that maybe he shouldn't be the one to be sitting at home waiting around for someone to knock on his door. Whatever, maybe he was crazy.

Actually, he probably _was_ crazy. Louis liking him? That just seemed like a joke. He was sort of expecting Niall to be on the other side of his door with a primed can of silly string. This didn't seem _real._

Except it kind of did.

Because Liam would have had to have been really, ridiculously stupid not to at least notice how Louis acted one way with him and a completely different way with absolutely _everyone else._

Like… like, Louis it seemed couldn't get a word out around him sometimes. It didn't take a genius to realize that Louis covered up most of his feelings with his usual sarcastic, snarky attitude, but Liam had noticed that Louis seemed more… sincere with him. He had thought the older boy just trusted him –he was Daddy Direction, after all- but now he's discovering there might have been other motives for that.

There's a knock on his hotel room's door, and Liam jumps three feet in the air. Shit, does he look okay? He's wearing khakis; that must mean that he looks okay. He pulls at his collar and flicks his hair into place one last time before opening the door for a very nervous Louis.

"I brought you flowers!" Louis says quickly before Liam can blurt out any type of greeting or apology. Louis shoves them in his hands and Liam takes a step back, a little surprised.

"Oh. I didn't get you anything," he says awkwardly. Louis flushes, and, oh my gosh, what is even going on, since when has Louis fucking Tomlinson been a blusher?

"That's okay, I just… I just… I didn't want you to be, like… disappointed at all in any way I could help cause, like… I know I'm not… I'm not Niall." Louis looks pained, and Liam feels really guilty. He musters up all his courage and takes Louis's hand, and it's really not as hard as it seems because he knows Louis just as well as he knows any of the boys, and holding hands isn't that big of a deal.

"I'm here with you, aren't I?" Liam asks, dragging Louis back into his room to put the bouquet of tulips into one of his half filled, unscrewed water bottles. He took a breath. "I mean… I know I… I know I was interested in Niall, but I just… I hadn't thought about any other options before, and I'm really sorry… I'm really sorry I didn't notice you, Louis, I really, really, _really_ wish I had, you have to believe me. But… but I'm noticing now, okay? I'm noticing for you, and for me, and for Zayn, and for Niall, and for maybe Harry if he's invested in this in even the slightest."

Louis laughed an awkward laugh and offered him a watery smile. "Harry's extremely invested in this," he said, and Liam had a feeling he might be. "And also… also, I'm really happy you're noticing, I'm so happy you're noticing, I just really wanted you to notice," Louis says, and oh no, Liam's pretty sure he's tearing up. He quickly pulls the older boy into a hug.

"I'm really, really sorry, Lou," he says, and he can't mean it any more than he does. Louis sniffs and pulls away, chewing on his lower lip in a way Liam doesn't like.

"Okay… Okay, that's okay. Let's go, yeah? They have a carnival in town today, and I've got us sunglasses and hats, and it's gonna be really fun, all right? Also, I like your khakis." Louis replies, and Liam lets out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

"All right. And good, thank goodness, I was worried I looked dumb. I like your stubble," he says, and oh. Well. That was a little more of an I'm-attracted-to-you type of compliment, wasn't it? Liam's embarrassed for a second, until Louis whispers something far more naughty in his ear.

Okay, so maybe this wasn't so bad.

* * *

For the second time in Liam's rather short-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things existence, he is woken up to Harry Styles banging loudly on his door in the middle of the night. Liam's a little worried, but only because last time this happened, he got hit by one of Harry's giant hands, and he wasn't looking for a repeat. After peaking through the peephole to check whom it was, Liam lets him in.

"How dare you not immediately tell me everything!" Harry exclaims, forcing his way into the room as Liam scrubbed sleep from his eyes.

"Ugh, what?" Liam asked, and Harry frowned.

"How did it go? How do you feel? Do you love him yet? Are you over _him_ yet? Because you had better have had a good time, and had better love him, and you had better not even think about _him_ because this is serious, and Louis is important, and you aren't allowed to fuck with him," Harry said angrily, and Liam shook his head, not taking in his words.

"Okay, Haz, I can't believe I'm saying this, but please _talk slower_. It's three in the morning, I can't keep up," he replied, earning a sigh from Harry.

"Okay, look. I know you're probably using Louis as a means of moving on from Niall, but… but I can't have you do that. Louis… Louis so needs this, you can't… you can't not love him back, okay? You have to treat him right," Harry explains. Liam sighs.

"Yeah, okay. I just… I just think that like… I don't know. I feel like Louis is the answer, but I don't know if I'm ready to give up on Niall, which is, like," Liam tugs on his hair, "so stupid. Cause I know it's not going to happen, and I know he has Zayn, and I know they're the perfect couple, but I can't help feeling like their might still be hope for us, and I just… I don't want to move on." Liam rubbed his forehead, trying to wake himself up a bit more, and Harry squinted at him.

"Okay, well, you know that leaving Louis hanging isn't an option, right? He loves you more than you could ever dream of loving Ni," he informs him, and Liam laughs.

"I'm pretty sure no one could love anymore more than I love Niall," he said, smiling sadly, and Liam nearly jolted out of his skin when tall, strong Harry gripped onto his shoulders, glaring.

"No. He does. Liam, he cries every night because of you. Before he went to pick you up before your date, I found him hunched over his room's toilet, certain he was going to throw up. He doesn't… he doesn't smile unless it's you, he doesn't laugh right unless it's you, he just does that fucking 'look at me, I'm funny and cheeky, and I'm above all of you' thing and acts like he's fine when he's _not_. He _needs_ you, Liam. You can't fuck around with this one," Harry says, eyes wide as saucers, and Louis doesn't like how serious this situation has gotten.

"Okay, well… well, that's… that's a lot," he says with a gulp, and runs his hands through his hair a couple times, shaking himself from Harry's grasp and pacing back and forth. "Maybe… maybe I should ask him out when I'm ready this time? Sort of… sort of just… I don't know, what should I do?" Liam asked, desperate for a solid answer. Harry shakes his head.

"Just be his mate, okay? Just… just be his friend." And with that, Harry left the room, and left Liam with all these thoughts that were far too big and far too intense for him to properly handle.

* * *

"Louis?" Liam asks while Zayn and Niall snuggle on the couch. "Would you maybe… would you maybe wanna play cards with me? We never got to have our game of Crazy Eights."

The smile Louis gives him is worth everything.

* * *

They're in an interview when Liam realizes what he's doing. They've all just been asked what their favorite part about always having four best friends with them is, and Louis had immediately jumped on the question. He was now saying something about never going a day without toothpaste or shampoo, and how all of his problems seemed so much smaller than they actually were with the boys to share the weight of things, but Liam wasn't paying much attention to the actual words coming out of his mouth.

And that's what he's doing. He's just looking. He's watching Louis in the same way he thinks he's supposed to be watching Niall. He is focused in on the older boy's jaw and the gorgeous part where it meets the crook of his neck under his ear.

This is so weird, holy crap. Liam actually… he actually is noticing Louis. Naturally, not forcefully, and this is easy. It's easy because Louis is honestly a beautiful person. He has got this perfectly tan skin, and he has these defined features, and these gorgeous aquamarine eyes that sparkle in ways Niall's don't oddly enough. Plus, Louis is kinda… he's kinda curvy. He has these really rounded thighs and –as everyone knows- this amazing bum that's just… okay, yeah, Liam wouldn't mind calling that his own.

It's not to say that Liam's never noticed how attractive Louis was or anything. He'd noticed it with all the boys. For example, Zayn was probably the most naturally beautiful human being to ever grace the earth; he looked like an angel. Liam could admit it, just like he could admit Louis was a near flawless individual himself. He just…

He had just never cared until now.

And it's nuts because Liam has been looking at Louis's face every day for years at this point. He probably knows it better than he knows his own, and it's not like there's anything new about Lou. He's the same Louis he's been for his entire career, he just…. He just has potential now.

It's freaking Liam out. This isn't right, he's only supposed to look at Niall like this. Or at least… he had only looked at Niall like this before. Louis has just grown impossible to ignore, and Liam… Liam makes a rash decision.

The second the interview ends, Liam hops up from his spot squished next to Harry on the couch and pulls Louis aside. "Hey. Hey, you… you're like… you look like… you look really good," he said, feeling the urge to express just how interested he's grown in Louis. The other boy flushes, and –again- since when has Louis been a blusher?

"Oh. Well, thanks, I mean… I try…" Louis replies, and Liam can see the not added 'for you' in his eyes. Liam sucks in a deep breath.

"Right, well, I don't think you have to. You're just. Okay, well, whatever, I was wondering if maybe you could, like, or, wait, maybe if you would want to go, I mean, maybe, I just…. Would you want to go on another date? With me," Liam asked, wincing because, crap, that sucked. Louis's cheeks, for his part, grew even redder.

"Yeah. Yeah, that would be awesome. Do you… do you know what you wanna do?" Louis asked, and Liam swore a million times mentally.

"Um… We can go to like… Um, well, I don't know. But I'll bring _you_ flowers this time, and I'll wear khakis, and it'll be just as fun as a carnival, I promise. And I'll try to make sure we can still get fairy floss and stuff," Liam offered, and Louis's smile might just be wider than his face.

"Okay, yeah, that sounds amazing, thank you so much!" Louis almost squeals and all of a sudden, he's cutting off Liam's blood flow in a hug tighter than anything Liam has experienced before. He runs ahead of him to get to the dressing room, and Liam takes his time in the hallway, thinking about how he feels and how he doesn't feel. He stops outside the room when he hears excited yelps from inside.

"Aw, Louis, that's so great, I'm so excited for you!" a painfully familiar voice exclaims, and Liam's heart drops into his stomach. _Niall._ "You guys are just, like, gonna make the cutest couple, I can't wait until you're officially dating!"

"Niall, it's so great to hear you say that; you don't even know," Liam heard Louis say, and Niall said something back, but Liam's heart was beating too loudly in his ears to truly hear it.

He'd forgotten.

He'd forgotten how much he cared about Niall caring. He'd forgotten how much it hurt that Niall didn't seem him that way. He'd forgotten how tied he was to Niall; he'd forgotten, he'd forgotten. How could he forget?

Liam slid to the floor and put his head between his knees, forcing back tears and forcing back all of his emotions except for the positive Louis one. He couldn't breathe.

He couldn't love Niall. He couldn't love Niall.

* * *

"You know, we've been ice skating for ten minutes, and no one has mentioned the fact that you aren't wearing khakis," Louis noted, and this time it was Liam's turn to blush.

"Yeah, well… I thought that khakis might not be proper attire for these kind of activiti-WAH!" Liam yelped as his skates slipped out from under him, and he landed flat on his back on the ice. "Ugh, worst idea ever. Let's never go on an ice skating date again," Liam complained, and Louis snickered before tripping into the wall to stop himself.

"I mean… I get that you might not have thought about _me_ not knowing how to ice skate, but like… you should have at least realized that you not knowing how either would make this a bad idea," he teased while Liam struggled to stand up, his knees shaky. He bit his lip.

"I'm sorry, are you not having fun?" he asked, even though Louis was smiling brightly at him. The older boy quickly shook his head.

"No, no. I would rather be bruising my knees for you in other ways than this," he said with an eyebrow waggle, and Liam grins. This is how Louis was supposed to be. Witty and sincere. It was kind of humbling that Louis was being himself just because they were alone together. Liam was proud, but it did put quite a bit of pressure on him to make sure that things went right.

And this wasn't going particularly right. He had taken Louis ice skating because –hey- that seemed fun, but it wasn't until they got out into the rink that they both realized they couldn't ice skate at all. Like… at all. Liam had fallen at least six times by now, and he was certain he would fall again. Louis had done a bit better at staying on his feet, but he was still tripping all over himself.

Liam manages to stand up and take Louis's hand. "Let's try to support each other, okay?" Liam offered, and Louis's cheeks were rosy, whether from cold or embarrassment, Liam couldn't tell. Louis's fingers laced in between his. He was terribly cold, and Liam rubbed the back of his hand with his thumb. "You're freezing," he said softly.

"It's an ice rink," Louis answered, but his voice was just as quiet, serious and caring as Liam's somehow. Liam smiles before, out of nowhere, the blade of his skate catches on the ice, and Liam falls to the ground, pulling Louis down on top of him.

Their chests line up, and Lou's forehead smacks his chin and Liam moans in pain, Louis echoing him. "Ah, sorry, sorry, I suck at this," he said, rubbing his chin, and Louis lifted his head up. Liam couldn't help but notice how close their faces were, and how much he could feel of Louis from head to toe.

"You don't suck at anything," Louis replied, eyes shining, and Liam bit his lip because, no, he sucked at a lot of things, but Louis seemed to really mean it. He took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry I made you fall," he settles for saying, and his voice is small. Louis is looking at him like he's something big and something untouchable, and Liam doesn't quite know what's coming, but he can feel it all the same.

"You cushioned my landing," Louis says, but it's almost like he does it subconsciously. Louis is coming closer and closer, his lips near touching his own, and then, oh, they _are_ touching his own. This is a kiss. Holy crap this is a kiss. A kiss, a kiss, a kiss, a kiss, and Liam's head was flat against the ice, he couldn't move out from under him. Louis pulled away.

"Okay. Okay… that was something," Liam said, and Louis slapped a hand over his mouth, a terrified look in his eyes.

"Oh, shit, I'm so sorry, you were just right there, and I didn't mean to, and I-"

"It's fine," Liam cut him off, but he knew -he just _knew-_ the look on his face said otherwise. Louis wanted to go home, and Liam gladly took him, mind whirling the entire time, and not expecting Harry to come knocking on his door tonight, Louis obviously fairly upset next to him.

* * *

"Liam, you're hurting his feelings," Harry says to him before one of their initial sound checks. Liam's not quite sure where they are at the moment. He knows they're in Philadelphia, but he doesn't quite know what state that's in. He sighs.

"I know, but like… I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it," he replies, and it's true, but it's also a lie. Because he knows he just has to love Louis right, and that's something Liam is good at –loving right, that is- but he doesn't know how to do that and still be content.

"Well, God, Liam. Do _something_. Look at him, he's with Ziall over there, and he's still acting all…" Harry crinkles his nose, and Liam cards his fingers through his hair.

"He's acting like this is an interview or something," he says because he knows Louis and he knows the fake, fan interpretation of Louis, and this is definitely the second. Liam sits down on the stage next to Harry and takes a swig from his water bottle. "I just… I just can't talk to him without thinking about… _it_ ," Liam explains.

It had been a couple days since Liam has spoken to Louis, and it wasn't a secret –at least between all five band members- that the reason he was being so distant was because of the kiss. Liam just wasn't good at this kind of shit. Meanwhile, poor Louis was walking around looking like someone had died, and Liam didn't know how to fix things.

Harry huffed next to him. "You've gotta apologize. You have to tell him what you want. And if…" Harry takes a deep breath, obviously struggling to suppress his anger. "If you like… if you like _Niall_ still, then you have to just tell him. You have to tell him you're not interested, and you have to break his heart, and you have to take responsibility for that instead of leaving him hanging and wondering if he's doing something wrong."

Harry is much smarter than most people think.

Liam bites his lower lip. "Okay… okay, but like…. What if I don't wanna break his heart. What if… what if I like him. Like… you know, I _like him_ , like him?" Liam asked, casting a nervous look in Louis's direction. His eyes rest on Louis's cheek, remembering how red he could make them, and how beautiful he was to Liam in that one interview, and how beautiful he was all the time. Harry perked up at his words.

"Do you like Louis?" he asked, and Liam nodded his head timidly but certainly. Harry gasped and let out a squeal, his inner kid oozing out of him and he tackled Liam to the floor with a hug.

"Gah! I am so excited about this, can you please get married forever, and ever, and ever? Please, pretty please?" Harry asked, but then he pulled away. "Wait, if you like him, then why are you acting all weird?"

Liam groaned. "I just… Well, when it happened, afterwards I was super awkward, and then I was trying to figure things out, and now… now he's just over there, and I really, really like him, like… like really like him, not this weird impartial thing I've been feeling for so long. And I don't know. I don't know what to do, I feel so weird, what do I do?" He looked at Harry expectantly.

"You tell him you liked the kiss," he answered, "and then you go bang in the back of the limo in front of all of us, just to prove it." Liam buried his face in his hands.

"I'm never quite sure if you're serious or not."

* * *

Liam bounces on his toes, pumping himself up. He can do this. He can so do this. The butterflies in the pit of his stomach are because of the upcoming concert in a few minutes, not because he's about to go talk to Louis.

The other boy was on the floor, legs sprawled out as he stretched out. He was touching his toes, and everything, from the curve of his spine, to the way his lip was caught between his teeth, had Liam wanting to kill himself for ever upsetting this beautiful boy.

"Louis!" he called out, and the other boy quickly looked up at him, a half hopeful, half terrified look on his face. He came over and crouched beside the boy, and cupped his jaw in one hand, holding is gaze for a second before pecking him much, much too quickly on the lips. "I'm so sorry," he says before Louis has the chance to recover and speak. "I'm so sorry, I didn't love you right this week, and I… I really… I really like you Louis, and I didn't mean to be so awful, I just… you were the first boy I've ever kissed, and I didn't… I didn't see it coming as much as I thought I would, and I hadn't prepared for it, and then I felt guilty and awkward, but I don't want to end things, Lou, I really don't, I really like you, you're amazing, and you're… you're a great kisser, I swear, I just… I just… I don't know, I'm a spaz, I freaked out, I'm so sorr-"

"Oi, shut _up_ ," Louis interrupts, and a real smile finally, finally emerges on the other lad's face. "I forgive you. I forgive you so long as you still want me yours, yeah? I can just be yours?" he asks, and Liam smiles.

"Of course. You can be mine."

* * *

This was a horrible idea. This was a genuinely horrible idea, what the hell was he thinking? He wasn't ready for this, he wasn't… he wasn't…

Liam liked Louis. He really did. He really _liked_ him. And now they were kind of together, and Liam wasn't the kind of guy to entertain a hopeless crush while dating another guy. It's not like he looked at Niall, or he tried not to, and it's not like he _thought_ about him, but it's not like loves like that just die. Every time the other boy looked at him, like… like _that_ , Liam's heart pounded harder than he could, no matter how much he tried to suppress it.

So that's why a double date with Zayn and Niall was a really, _really_ bad idea.

"And he'd like this chicken thing, please," Niall finished ordering and something weird churned in Liam's stomach. Ziall had gone to the effort of ordering for each other instead of each picking out their own things. So had he and Louis of course, but the fact that Zayn and Niall could as well… It hurt more than Liam might expect it too.

"So are you two thinking about coming out?" Zayn asked, taking Niall's hand from the table top up to his lips to kiss his knuckles while the younger boy giggled. Liam's heart clenched uncomfortably. Luckily, Louis was on the ball.

"I don't know. We haven't really talked about it, but I don't know if I'd like to. No use in the whole world thinking we're a _completely_ gay boy band. The fans would be crushed, and I mean… the Larry shippers would go mental," he explained, and Niall and Zayn nodded in sync.

"We get what you mean," Niall said and, crap, he said ' _we'_. "For the record, being out is absolutely amazing. You can do all kinds of shit in public. Like, I could climb into Zayn's lap if he allowed it right now in front of everyone," Niall explained, and Zayn grinned admiringly at his boyfriend.

"You're always welcome, honey," he assured him, and Niall crawled over in the booth to sit sideways on Zayn, capturing his lips in a kiss. Liam stood up abruptly.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I have to… I have to get some air, I'll be right back," he said, avoiding Louis's much too hurt gaze and rushing out of the restaurant and into the cold, February air. A sob caught in his throat.

Shit.

Shit, he didn't expect this to go this poorly. He knew he wasn't going to have a good time, but he didn't think it would end up so bad. Yet here he was, outside a restaurant in God knows what city, a couple stray tears rolling down his cheeks because this was _it_ , he was _done_ , he was with _Louis_ and not _Niall_ , and it was all too much for him. He supported himself against the brick wall with one hand, trying to catch a breath.

"What was that?" someone asked from behind him, and Liam whirled around to face Zayn. "I thought… I thought you weren't into Niall anymore. I thought you had moved on," Zayn said, eyes soft and he looked distressed, like he was on the verge of tears. "Why'd you… why'd you freak out?"

Liam swiped away his tears with the back of his hand. "I'm sorry, I just… I just… I can't… he's _Niall_ ," Liam said brokenly. "I can't give up on him when he's _Niall_. And Louis is… Louis is amazing. And Louis is perfect for me, and Louis is a _great boyfriend_ , and Louis does more than he should, but it's Louis, it's Louis, it's not… It's not Ni, it's not right," he said, upset, and Zayn looked hopelessly confused.

"I don't understand," he said, and Liam was struggling so hard to keep it together, this was so impossible. He wiped his nose off on the back of his hand before hugging himself tight. He should have remembered to bring a jacket.

"I don't either," Liam said with a weak laugh, and backed up a few steps. "I just… I just… I can't go back in there, I have to go," he told Zayn before turning and running down the street, Zayn calling his name in his wake.

* * *

Liam groans when there's a knock on his door ten minutes after finally getting back to his hotel. He opens the door, certain it was Zayn and already telling him to go away. "Listen, Zayn, I don't wanna talk about-"

"I'm not Zayn," Niall cuts him off, and Liam's mouth snaps shut. No good can come from this. Niall smiled at him sympathetically. "You like me."

Liam shuddered.

"I do… I mean… I don't, but I… but I… I don't know, you're Niall. You're so beautiful, and you're so kind, and funny, and joyful, and perfect, and it's hard not to… not to… I don't know, it's hard not to love you," Liam answers, and why the _fuck_ is he being honest right now? Give him one good reason. He turns away from the blond and hides deeper in his hotel room, but the other boy merely follows him in and shuts the door.

Niall sits on his bed like it's his own room and sighs. He seems to think for a moment, but Liam can't look at him for too long to be sure. "I… I need Zayn," he says, and he looks at Liam with those bright blue eyes that he just can't force out of his head. "I need Zayn, Liam," he says more firmly, and he continues, "He just… he's who makes me happy after a bad day. He's who I fit into perfectly and who fits into me back. He's the one I think about when I go to sleep, and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but it's not you," Niall says, and this is… This is harsh.

"I-"

"No, Liam, you don't understand. You don't understand what you're doing, okay? You might love me, but Louis _needs_ you. You're… you're killing him, and… and he's so good for you, why would you love me? Why would you love me when you could have that?" he asked, and Liam shrunk a little bit.

"I don't know," he mumbled, a fresh set of tears rolling down his cheeks. And Niall frowned.

"Liam…" he sighed, and got up from the mattress, moving to wrap Liam into a tight hug. Liam couldn't help but bury his face in Niall's neck and cry. The Irish lad rubbed his back while he whimpered. "Liam, you don't love me. You love Louis, you do. I think… I think you're all hung up on whatever this is when you really are interested in Lou. Your boyfriend. _Lou_ ," Niall said.

"I-I-I w-want, I w-want t'be w-with _you_ ," Liam wailed, and Niall squeezed him tight.

"No. You want Louis. I don't take care of you, Liam. I don't… I don't pay you the attention you need to be happy. Louis takes care of you; Louis pays attention to you. You love Louis, you do. Everyone else keeps telling you that you love me, but you don't, you don't," Niall replied, and Liam shook in Niall's arms.

"But I-"

"Stop, Liam, come on. Think about it. Really think about it. Do you see yourself getting married to me?" he asked, and, no, Liam didn't. "Can you truly see yourself holding my hand and kissing my cheek while we go on a walk?" Niall questioned, and, no, Liam couldn't. "How about, and I'm serious with this one, okay, could you really see me beneath you? Could you see yourself fucking me, Liam? Because I don't think you can. I don't think you want me like you've been thinking you do. You don't look at me like that. You don't look at me like Zayn does. You look at Louis the way Louis looks at you and the way Zayn looks at me and I look at Zayn. You don't love me."

"I can't see it," Liam says weakly, and wow, he can't see it. He can't see it at all. He can't see himself with Niall, but… but he could see himself with Louis. He could see himself with Louis in ways that made him blush, and ways that would make Louis snicker, and Liam is starting to see. "I love Louis," he says more to himself, but it's not like Niall can't hear him when they're hugging like this.

"You do," Niall said. "You do, and I'm sorry… I'm sorry I didn't know before Zayn told me just now. And I'm sorry I don't love you like you thought you wanted me to. I'm sorry you were so confused and I couldn't help. And I'm… I'm especially sorry to be so blunt with you, but you… you don't want me. You don't," he explained, and Liam took a deep breath.

"No. No I don't. Louis is… I want Louis… I just… Wow, I want Louis," he marveled, and Niall smiled, pulling away to punch him playfully in the arm.

"Well he is rather cute, don't you think?" Niall asked, and Liam couldn't help but giggle through his tears.

"That little tummy is so adorable," he replied, and Niall smiled at him encouragingly.

"And he's so small and foldable," the artificial blonde laughed along with him, and Liam nodded enthusiastically because, yes, he was small and foldable, and that would most likely make all future inappropriate affairs very fun indeed. His brain quickly switched gears.

"Oi, but let's not forget, yours is rather attractive as well. I'm pretty sure Zayn isn't truly human, what with his cheekbones, and that jaw, and his eyelashes?" he questioned, and Niall groaned.

"Don't even get me started on his stubble, though, okay? Like… every time he goes without shaving, I basically feel like I'm on the verge of an orgasm all day," he moans, and Liam gives him a shove and a snort.

"You're gross. But yeah, Louis's is super hot, too. It's so easy to be attracted to him, you know?"

Niall grinned. "That's just what I like to hear," he replied, and Liam smiled back. He loved Louis. He loved _Louis_. He was in love with _Louis Tomlinson_ , and now all he had to do was make the other boy see it.

* * *

"Um, wait, wait, wait," Liam says in the middle of a concert. They're supposed to be singing Little Things in a second, and the crowd is naturally about to pee themselves, but Liam has to do this before it's too late and before he chickens out.

Niall's hands stop on his guitar, and suddenly the world is staring at them. Liam takes a quick swig of water to relax himself, and he and Niall share a look. The other boy smirks, and his hands go back to his pick and his strings, this time a different tune pouring out into the stadium. Liam grabs his mike and walks over to Louis, taking his hand.

Liam addresses just Louis, though his voice booms out to every person in the building. "I know this song probably means a lot more to me than it does to you, but I thought that maybe just it meaning something would be enough," he says, and before Louis can respond –and it's obvious he wants to by the way he opens his mouth- Liam is already singing.

" _You've got a friend in me, you've got a friend in me_ ," he sings, and his voice is shaking in a way he isn't accustomed to anymore It's hard to get these lyrics out, but he manages it anyway. " _When the road looks rough ahead, and you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed, you just remember what your old pal said, oh, you've got a friend in me. You've got a friend in me."_

Liam's a flustered mess as he pushes through the rest of the song. He's pretty sure the fans are little screaming masses of confused happiness, but Liam isn't paying attention to them. He's paying attention the impassive look on Louis's face, and trying to see if he's doing something right. He quickly reaches the bridge. " _Some other folks might be a_ bunch _smarter than I am, bigger and stronger too._ Definitely _. But none of them will ever love you the way I do, just me and you, Lou."_

So he changed the lyrics a bit. Call him sappy as you may.

Louis's grin broke out into a smile, and Liam finished the song before dropping his mike in Harry's lap and jumping onto Lou, kissing his cheek "platonically". He took out the older boy's earpiece to whisper to him. "Loubear, you should take out every friend and put in 'boyfriend' instead, okay?" he asked, and Louis beamed brighter than Liam had ever seen him.

"Okay. I love you. I… thank you. Just me and you, right? And I'm just yours?" he asked, and Liam smiled.

"Now and forever officially, you are just mine, and I am just yours."


End file.
